英語(yǔ)幽默搞笑短文

　　一、

　　An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven.

　　一個(gè)老律師就要死了。一天他告訴他妻子，他想到了一個(gè)辦法可以把他所有的錢(qián)帶去天堂。

　　He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.

　　他告訴妻子，把他所有的錢(qián)都放到閣樓，那樣他去天堂的`路上就可以順便帶走。

　　A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there.

　　他死后兩三個(gè)星期，他的妻子打掃閣樓發(fā)現(xiàn)錢(qián)袋子還在那里。

　　"That old fool," she chuckled. "I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!"

　　“這個(gè)老傻瓜，”她竊笑著說(shuō)。“早就告訴他，應(yīng)該把錢(qián)放到地下室才對(duì)!”

　　二、

　　Last weekend, Xiao Li gave Xiao Bai a phone call to invite her out to eat dinner. Because Xiao Bai loves Xiao Li, she was very happy. They went to Xiao Bai's favorite restaurant. When they arrived, they got a table and ordered some food. Although Xiao Bai really likes cabbage, she isn't a vegetarian. Xiao Bai ordered a plate of Homestyle Tofu, as well as two plates of beef. Xiao Li ordered two bowls of rice and one bowl of spicy-sour soup. The server brought the food very quickly.

　　上個(gè)周末，小力給小白打了一個(gè)電話請(qǐng)她一起出去吃晚飯。因?yàn)樾“讗?ài)小力，所以她很高興。他們?nèi)チ诵“鬃钕矚g的飯館。到那兒以后他們就有了一張桌子，點(diǎn)了一 些菜，雖然小白很喜歡青菜，不過(guò)她不是素食主義者。小白點(diǎn)了一盤(pán)家常豆腐，還點(diǎn)了兩盤(pán)牛肉。小力點(diǎn)了兩碗米飯和一碗酸辣湯。服務(wù)員上菜上得真快。

　　After they finished eating, Xiao Li wanted to pay the bill, but had a large problem. He forgot to bring money! Right now he does not even have one yuan. Xiao Li is very embarrassed. He let Xiao Bai pay. Right now Xiao Bai does not love Xiao Li.

　　吃完飯以后小力想付錢(qián)，但是他有一個(gè)大問(wèn)題。他忘了帶錢(qián)!現(xiàn)在他一塊錢(qián)都沒(méi)有。小力很不好意思，他讓小白付錢(qián)�，F(xiàn)在小白不愛(ài)小力了。

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